Love and Struggle of a Lesbian Mother

Cheri Pies: A Pioneer in LGBTQ+ Parenting

In-Depth Look into the Journey of Lesbian Parenthood: Cheri Pies' Legacy

Cheri Pies (1949.11.26~2023.7.4), a distinguished public health professor at UC Berkeley in California, was renowned for her contributions to community health initiatives and had garnered multiple prestigious awards. As a lesbian individual, she gained even more recognition for her groundbreaking guidebook published in 1984, offering guidance to same-sex couples on becoming parents through adoption and nurturing. Pies relentlessly pursued the dreams of love, marriage, and family for LGBTQ+ individuals, breaking through societal norms, legal barriers, and taboos.

Breaking Boundaries: The First Same-Sex Adoption in the United States

Bill Jones, a sixth-year teacher from California, defied societal expectations when he adopted a boy in 1968. As a single gay man, he yearned for a family of his own, and in the midst of the hippie and sexual revolution era, many children were left without proper homes. However, being gay meant no dating, no marriage, and no adoption. It wasn't law but societal conventions, or as he described it, the "national consensus," that posed obstacles. The initial barrier was an interview with a social worker who assessed the suitability of adoption applicants.

Jones was fortunate. His social worker said, "I know that gay people can be good parents, but the adoption board might not think the same. If you want to adopt, maybe don't tell them you're gay."

Jones' adopted child, Aaron, had been rejected five times before. Born to a drug-addicted woman, Aaron exhibited symptoms resembling withdrawal, but in reality, he was struggling with bipolar disorder. Jones hesitated due to the fear of rejection, as he believed children sense it instinctively. One day, he bought a teddy bear and visited the adoption agency, where he expressed his desire to adopt Aaron. Aaron heard his voice and rushed into the room, embracing him. They became a family on February 13, 1969. Their journey continued until Aaron's unfortunate passing due to a heroin overdose.

Bill Jones was the first publicly known gay man to adopt a child in the United States. In a 2015 NPR interview, he shared, "Every day was a struggle with him, but Aaron was a loving and affectionate child. I never regretted adopting him for a moment. I loved him deeply, and he loved me. I was lucky in many ways."

Breaking Barriers in Parenting: Lesbian Couples Defying Odds

In 1970, Madeleine Isaacson and Sandy Schuster, a lesbian couple from Seattle, met at a church. Sandy's son was one of Madeleine's students. Both women had experienced unhappy marriages after giving birth to their own children and decided to divorce in 1971. They chose to live together based on a "covenant with God." However, the church expelled them. The bigger issue was custody of their six children. They sued. In 1973, the court recognized their custody rights, with the condition that they live separately. Their story even became the basis for a documentary titled "Sandy and Madeleine’s Family."

While living in separate apartments, they co-parented their six children. They faced legal challenges when their ex-husbands sued them for custody, claiming a violation of court orders. After a long legal battle, the federal court ruled in 1978 that parents with custody should have broad discretion in raising their children. This ruling marked progress in recognizing the rights of LGBTQ+ parents.

Cheri Pies: Leading the Charge for LGBTQ+ Parenthood

In California's Oakland, Cheri Pies and Melina Linder, a lesbian couple, adopted a daughter in 1978. Despite societal prejudice and legal hurdles, LGBTQ+ couples began to succeed in their journeys towards parenthood. Cheri Pies, who worked as a health educator and counselor at Planned Parenthood, created a support network for lesbian women aspiring to become parents. Through workshops and shared experiences, this network became a lifeline for those seeking information and solutions. In 1984, Pies published "Considering Parenthood: A Workbook for Lesbians," a guidebook that documented the challenges, solutions, and information for lesbian women dreaming of having children.

Changing Legal Landscape and Societal Perception

Over the years, attitudes towards LGBTQ+ parenting evolved. Court decisions started to recognize the rights of LGBTQ+ parents. Books like "Heather Has Two Mommies" by Leslea Newman and organizations like COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) emerged to support families. The legalization of same-sex marriage and the right to adopt paved the way for a more inclusive society.

Despite progress, bias against LGBTQ+ parenting persists in some sectors. Research has repeatedly debunked misconceptions, but prejudices remain. The road to equality continues as LGBTQ+ parents work to overcome institutional and societal discrimination and secure equal rights for their families.